frankly fancy

here has been buzz going around recently about the psychedelic flavor explosion that happens when you subject your taste buds to miracle fruit. The sweet red berry contains a glycoprotein molecule, miraculin, that binds with your taste buds, causing bitter and sour foods to taste sweet. The effects last for several hours. Heady.

We got to thinking what dishes we would most like to try while flavor tripping, and came up with a list of our top ten. Be sure to let us know how you’d like to flip your buds.

1. Sweet Patch Kids
2. Sweet Grapes
3. Chili served in a Sweetdough Bread Bowl
4. Sweet Apple Suckers

5. Sweet Cream and Onion Potato Chips
6. Hot & Sweet Soup
7. Süßkraut (Sweet kraut) on a Brat
8. Sweet & Sweet Chicken
9. Sweet Death Balls (classic) and of course . . .

TRADITIONAL WHISKEY SWEET

• 1 Miracle Fruit
• 2 oz. Bourbon Whiskey
• Juice of 1 whole lemon
• 1 lemon slice (cut from lemon before juicing)

Directions

Put miracle fruit in mouth and scrape pulp from around seed. Work at it for a few minutes.

Meanwhile, strain lemon juice into whiskey, add water if desired.

Pour over ice, and garnish with lemon slice.

Enjoy!

Overall Fancy Factor?

(3 votes, average: 9.67 out of 10)

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“. . .and fancy food was entirely French.” (08:31)

ew York Times food writer Mark Bittman recounts when fancy entered American food parlance, among other significant topics, on TED.

For those short on time, jump to 07:38 for the discussion of pre-fancy American dining.

We’ve received several requests to include more recipes for entertaining large groups. In general, we recommend you avoid “party” recipes like you would avoid paper placemats, as, too often, they sacrifice elegance for volume.

If it’s fancy for 1, it’s fancy for 100. We cannot emphasize this enough. Then again, soaking 50 bunnies in a tub of vinegar may not be desirable, if only because it may inhibit your pre-party bathing ritual.

With this in mind, we will feature a series of dishes that strike a delicate balance between fancy and efficiency. Fancy fare recipes are not recommended for fewer than four people, since some degree of fancy will inevitably be compromised. Rest assured though, these recipes will impress, and, really, isn’t that half the battle?

Filled Popcorn Balls

in June Roth’s Fast and Fancy Cookbook, 1969

• 2 packages (8 ounces each) cream cheese
• 1 can (four ounces) deviled ham*
• Beer, as needed**
• Buttered popcorn (approx 1/2 cup, unpopped)

* we substituted 4 ounces of finely chopped bacon, fried and lightly blotted

** we used Miller Lite

Directions

Blend softened cream cheese with bacon. Add a few tablespoons of beer gradually until mixture is soft enough to shape into balls.

Shape into 1-inch balls (or slightly smaller). Chill.

Just before serving, roll balls into buttered popcorn, pressing popcorn firmly into cheese.

Makes 2 dozen balls.

Ideal Occasion

Backyard movie night; preferably something with subtitles and/or directed by Federico Fellini.

Suggested Pairing

32 oz. Rum and Cokes.

Fancy Factor?

(5 votes, average: 4.8 out of 10)

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We’ve just made the silver spoon rating system at the bottom of each post open to readers. Now you, our honored readers, can vote for the Overall Fancy Factor of each recipe.

We invite you to take a moment to go back and share with us how fancy you thought the first four recipes were! Try it out first here:

(3 votes, average: 7.33 out of 10)

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y mother used to take me with her to a small gourmet market for lunch–the kind that sells pickled vegetables that aren’t from cucumbers and carries half a dozen different kinds of pasta salad behind the deli counter.

We would each get soup and 1/2 a sandwich, and split an oversize snickerdoodle. Usually I would go in for turkey noodle, but one day they had a special that looked like a delicious blend of tomato soup and salsa to my 10-year-old eyes. It turned out, of course, to be Gazpacho. At the time I thought it was disgusting. Now I know it’s just fancy…

QUICK VICHYSSOISE

in June Roth’s Fast and Fancy Cookbook, 1969.

• 2 chicken bouillon cubes
• 1/2 cup boiling water
• 2 cans (10 1/4 ounces each) frozen cream of potato soup*
• 2 cups milk
• 1/4 cup chopped chives
• 1 cup dairy sour cream

* We substituted unfrozen cream of potato soup, and did not boil the water, accordingly.

Directions

Dissolve bouillon cubes in water. Combine bouillon, soup, milk and chives in a saucepan.

Heat slowly, stirring constantly, until soup is thawed. Remove from heat and beat with a rotary beater or in a blender until smooth

Beat in sour cream. Refrigerate until well chilled, about 4 hours.

Makes 6 to 8 servings.

Ideal Occasion

An early autumn picnic; too cold for winter, too heavy for summer, eat this dish as soon as green begins to fade.

Suggested Pairing

Ipecac; On July 2, 1971 the FDA announced that a New York man had died from botulism after eating a can of Bon Vivant vichyssoise soup, causing the company to file for bankruptcy within a month.** Maybe hot soup isn’t so bad after all…

** Read more about this episode here.

NOTE: the frankly fancy staff discovered this story only after savoring several icy bowlfuls of the stuff. We are proud to report: it’s been two days, and no shortness of breath, yet.

Overall Fancy Factor?

(3 votes, average: 7 out of 10)

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ancy fact #3 could be easily split into two distinct facts, but the companion recipe connects them so well, they’ve been merged into one.

Faster in life . . .

he faster your food could travel while it was alive, the fancier it likely is. Given equal populations of two species, the more fleet-footed, being harder to capture, will constitute a more desirable entrée. This explains why pheasant is fancier than duck, is fancier than turkey, is fancier than chicken.* And since plants are immobile by nature, this firms up meat’s status atop the food chain of fancy, as we’ve discussed earlier.

Snails may be the only known exception to this rule, although, as will be explained by a future fact, its inextricable link to french may negate this (see Escargot).

It should also be noted that this fact does much to account for the difficulties that inevitably arise when attempting to judge the relative exquisiteness of fish, since the speed of most fish are generally assumed to be more or less the same.

* the average speeds of these birds are 38-48 mph (flying), 20+ mph (flying), 20 mph (running), and 9 mph (running), respectively.

. . . slower in the pot.

he longer it takes to prepare a dish, including time to marinade, the fancier it will be. As far as facts go, this is rather intuitive. Sorry, Rachel Ray.

Importantly (and here’s the clincher), a scientific correlation exists between these two principles, going roughly as follows:

Fast animals are generally leaner than than slow ones. Leaner meat must be cooked longer to reach a desired level of tenderness. Additionally, fast animals are harder to domesticate over time, and thus tend to be wild. Wild animals tend to have a gamier flavor (as the “gamey” itself suggests). Cooking wild game longer will prove more effective for removing this unpleasant flavor.

And there you have it; faster in life, slower in the pot.

Now let’s hop back in time to 1931 to explore these rules at work…

RABBIT À LA MODE

in The Joy of Cooking, 1931 (first edition)

“Note: Squirrel may be substituted.”

(This is a very old recipe, so many of the quantities were rather vague. The quantities we used have been approximated below for your convenience.)

• 1 rabbit, cut into pieces**
• 2 medium onion
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 6 peppercorns
• 1 bay leaf
• vinegar (~3 cups)***
• water (~3 cups)
• 3 tablespoons butter
• lemon rind, to taste
• 2 sprigs of parsley
• 2 celery ribs
• flour (1-2 tablespoons)
• sour cream (2-3 tablespoons)

** thank you to Larson Rabbitry in Madison for supplying us with a rabbit.

*** we used white vinegar, although this may not be advisable (see below)

Directions

1. Cut and clean rabbit into pieces. Place them in a crock or jar. Cover with vinegar and water in equal parts and add to it onions, salt, peppercorns, and bay leaf

2. Soak the rabbit for two days. Remove the meat, keeping the liquor.

3. Melt three tablespoons butter or drippings in [large] skillet. Add 1/4 cup chopped onions.

4. Sauté the rabbit in drippings until it is lightly browned. Pour [preserved] vinegar water over rabbit to a depth of 1/4 inch. You may add a piece of lemon rind, 2 sprigs of parsley, and 2 ribs of celery.

5. Cover the pot closely. Simmer meat until it is done, but do not boil it at any time.

6. Remove rabbit from the pot. Thicken the drippings with flour and add to it sour cream or milk.

Ideal Occasion

A visit from a great-great-aunt; this will remind her of growing up in the Dust Bowl. More importantly, your great-great-aunt has most likely passed on, so you will be left with no good reason to cook this horrid dish. Unsurprisingly, soaking something in vinegar for two days will leave it tasting like…vinegar.

Suggested Pairing

Whole milk; this will help gently rid your mouth of the foul taste filling it.

Overall Fancy Factor?

(3 votes, average: 8.67 out of 10)

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eople tend to drink alcohol to get drunk. People who are drunk tend to lose the dignified restraint that is a benchmark of fancy.

Serving hot drinks will help avoid this pitfall. Compared with cold liquids, it is endlessly more difficult to guzzle enough hot liquid to get adequately sauced. How often, when feeling parched, do you pour yourself a hot one?

The effects of liquor are also felt much more quickly when ingested hot. While at first this may seem undesirable, it will allow you and your guests to take note of your mental faculties before tipsy turns into tanked.

Really, alcohol should only be consumed warm. Why drink wine if it’s not mulled? Why drink a toddy if it isn’t hot? Why drink rum if it isn’t both hot and buttered? Why, indeed.

HOT SHERRIED CONSOMMÉ

in Better Homes and Gardens® Cooking for Two, 1968

“Hot Sherried Consommé is an easy but elegant appetizer. Pour consommé over silver spoon to prevent cracking of crystal glass.”

• 10 1/2 ounces condensed beef consommé (1 can)*
• 2/3 cup water
• 3 tablespoons dry sherry

*Campbell’s may be the only company to still produce canned beef consommé. Hats off to you, Campbell’s. If ready-made consommé is not available, substitute a mix of beef and chicken stock, and reduce slightly, or thicken with a bit of gelatin.

Directions

In saucepan, combine one 10 1/2-ounce can condensed consommé, 2/3 cup water, and 3 tablespoons dry sherry; heat. Serves 2.

Ideal Occasion

A dinner party for new neighbors; this will provide a warm welcome to the neighborhood, while discreetly screening for any rowdy proclivities your new blockmates may have.

Suggested Pairing

Crackers and cheese; HSC should be served as an appetizer. Since it is basically soup disguised as a drink, the crackers will be an excellent companion.

Overall Fancy Factor?

(3 votes, average: 7.33 out of 10)

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Meat is the fanciest of the food groups.

Flat, sandwich-style meats, however, have long been considered to lack the elegance that, say, a rack of lamb can boast. That said, one foolproof way to pull two-dimensional meat out of the gutter is simply by rolling it–either by itself, or around another food (such as a vegetable or, better still, more meat!).

This is due to the simple fact that rolling things tends to make them fancier. This applies to nearly everything–napkins, shirt sleeves, dollar bills, you name it.

Here is a recipe to better illustrate this rule…

HAM-BROCCOLI ROLLS

in Better Homes and Gardens® Cooking for Two, 1968.

• 2 rectangular slices boiled ham, cut 1/4 inch thick
• 2 slices process Swiss cheese*
• 1 10-ounce package of frozen broccoli spears, cooked and drained**
• 1 1/2 teaspoons butter or margarine
• 1 1/2 teaspoons all-purpose flour
• 1/8 teaspoon salt
• 1 1/2 teaspoons prepared horseradish
• 1 teaspoon prepared mustard
• 1/4 teaspoon Worcestershire sauce
• 1/4 teaspoon grated onion
• 1 slightly beaten egg yolk
• 1/2 cup pineapple juice
• 1/4 cup milk

*We used 4 thin slices of Swiss cheese on each instead of the recommended single slice.

**We opted for fresh broccoli instead of frozen.

Directions

1. Top each ham slice with slice of cheese. Place half the cooked broccoli on each.

2. In heavy saucepan melt butter. Blend in flour, salt, horseradish, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, and onion. Combine egg yolk and pineapple juice; blend into butter mixture. Stir in milk. Cook over low heat, stirring constantly, till thick and bubbling (this will take roughly 10 minutes).

3. Spoon about 1 tablespoon sauce over broccoli. Roll ham and cheese around broccoli.

4. Secure with wooden picks. Place rolls in shallow baking dish. Cover; bake in moderate oven (350 degrees) about 25 minutes.

5. Reheat remaining sauce, adding milk if necessary (this will be necessary). Spoon hot mustard sauce over ham rolls. Makes 2 servings.

Ideal Occasion

A Black Thursday Theme Luncheon; let’s face it–as effective as rolling is, it’s difficult to turn a pig into a prince. This will show your guests that even though your stocks are taking the plunge, your taste isn’t.

Suggested Pairing

Pineapple juice, on the rocks; this will complement the ham nicely. Not to mention, you will likely have a quart of it left.

Overall Fancy Factor?

(2 votes, average: 5.5 out of 10)

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